


Trapped in a Dollhouse

by Aldecaalfi



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Gen, Physical Abuse, Protagonist Pearl, Slight torture, White Pearl Theory, just mentioned, the others are just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 06:50:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5957725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aldecaalfi/pseuds/Aldecaalfi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pearl decides to practice a bit with his sword, but doubts and memories begin to emerge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trapped in a Dollhouse

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Dollhouse](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/174934) by Me (Aldecaalfi). 



> This is a translation of Spanish version (also mine).
> 
> Translation credits to: songbirdfanfix on fanfiction.net
> 
> Thank you so much! Enjoy!

**P** earl groaned inwardly as she gave another elegant round and raised her sword majestically.

She took several hours doing the same thing, again and again. She turned, she jumped, she attacked, she bent, all trying to defeat the imaginary opponent with whom she fought.

She tried to concentrate. She couldn't lose her concentration. Her fighting style was codifyed. She needed her body to work in perfect harmony, including her brain.

That was where the problem was.

At first glance, it seemed that everything was fixed between Garnet and herself. That was what Steven thought, and maybe even Amethyst believed it.

But that was a bit far from reality.

Yes, it was true that Garnet had finally forgiven her, and yes it was true that she had gotten over some problems that she had had for a long time.

What no one realized is that these problems were just drops in a sea of doubts and insecurities.

Suddenly she was pulled back to reality as she tried to perform a Balestra, doing the wrong movement causing her to slip, and throw her sword in the air. Shortly after she had to avoid the tip of the weapon which had fallen sharp-side-down, and almost stabbed into her chest.

“That was close.” She muttered angrily as she stood up and grabbed her sword. “I don't want to have to regenerate anytime soon. Not to mention it would be embarrasing, especially if someone came and saw me like that."

She wasn't embarrased about someone finding her gem as she regenerated, that had happened thousands of times. What would've been embarrasing was someone discover why she had been forced to regenerate.

She placed her sword back in her gem, and sat cross-legged, quietly closing her eyes, and resting her hands on her knees as though she was meditating.

She sunk back into the vast sea of thoughts and concerns that lived in her mind. She thought about what had happened, about the mistake she had made, and how it had affected the team.

Amethyst and Steven never should have been drawn into the conflict. Yes, Amethyst had sunk her, revealing her plan, but in the end, had come to her defence. It wasn't her fault, and no matter what she did, Pearl would still love her. Really, it had been good to reveal what she was doing, perhaps accidentally. Peridot's signal could reach home-world, and at the time, that was the last thing they needed.

And Steven deserved nothing, absolutely nothing, of guilt. He was just a child, she didn’t want to cause him pain, but in the end, had anyway. She knew he was trying to be strong for them. He wasn't the only one. Everyone was trying to be strong for others.

Despite his age, he had proven to be quite wise on multiple occasions. She smiled as she remembered the conversation they had had a few days ago.

* * *

 

_Flashback_

_"Hello pearl… Pearl?"_

_She was sitting on the couch, thinking about what had happened only a few days ago, when suddenly she heard her name. Startled, she turned her gaze to the door, to meet the eyes of Steven. He looked worried, she thought that maybe he was worried about their conflict, but his eyes told her that he was actually worried about her. So, she decided to put her thoughts aside, and have a normal conversation with him._

_"Steven, you came back."_

_The young boy replied as he went to sit with the gem._

_"The entertainment business is hard." He commented as he looked down at a script in his hands._

_Pearl, seeing the sad frown on the boy, decided to put aside her worries and focus on him._

_"Is there something I can help you with?"_

_Steven turned to look at her, raising his hands in a sign of... of... well she wasn't sure, but the boy turned to her._

_"Not unless you can make William Dewey interesting."_

_Well, that was interesting. How could a child of about 12 know of a character (and close friend) who lived 200 years ago?_

_"How do you know William Dewey?"_

_"I'm going to be him in this play!"_

_A play. Now that made sense._

_"But he's very boring. He's perfect and he doesn't make any mistakes."_

_Perfect. That word was chasing her everywhere. Pearl sighed sadly._

_"I wish I could say the same for me." She said with a hint of sadness in her voice._

_"Yeah, but no ones like that." Steven said, unconsiously trying to give support, as well as indicate what was wrong with the play. "Everyone does things wrong, and has to continue, which is dificult, but it's good because you never stop trying!"_

_Pearl smiled hearing the words of wisdom. Steven was right, everyone makes mistakes, but, unfortunately, that couldn’t remove the guilt or regret that she felt in her heart._

_"When did you get so smart?" She lowered her head, a smile gracing her lips._

_After the conversation, she decided to review the work and fix it, or rather, rewrite it all, because that piece could easily pose as a play of science fiction._

_End Flashback_

* * *

 

 **P** erfection... that word was awful, and according to Pearl, it shouldn't exsist. No one and nothing was perfect. Not even gems. Much less her.

If she was, she never would’ve made mistakes that would cost the team, she never would've been jealous of Greg (well, that was impossible to know), and she never would've called Steven, Rose. It was a slip of the tongue that the other gems considered common in her.

Sometimes, Amethyst called her “perfect”, usually when she was irritated, or angry with Pearl, and sometimes to mock the thing itself. But whatever the context in which it was used, it was quite hurtful that Ame believed that. Steven believed it sometimes, too.

Once, when he was younger, Steven had told Pearl that when he grew up he wanted to be perfect, just like her.

Internally, these words had broken her heart.

Thise words reminded her of her past, before Rose rescued her.

It was well known on Homeworld that pearls were the most common and easy to create gems. That was why they were used as servants.

They were made almost like robots, all programmed the same way, with the same information in their gem.

They were able to regenerate, which was common for any gem, but were strictly forbidden to use or raise any weapon. They were also forbidden to comment on any issue, except when their “master" requested commentary. Such situations were almost nil. On top of it all, they had to dress according to their master and rank.

Pearls were admired for being perfect but from time to time, due to the process of how they were made, they could have a “factory defect". Most of the time, these gems would be detected before they could be marketed and sold, but on occasion they would go unnoticed, and were able to leave the factory. Unfortunately, most were quickly discovered by their “masters" and destroyed.

But always, there are exceptions.

These were the owners that decided that the life of the gem was more important than perfection, amd kept them.

But of course, there were counterparts to these owners. Masters that treated them worse than average, and when they discovered a defective servent, would physically mistreat them. Usually to the point where the servants would have to regenerate daily due to the injuries that were inflicted upon them. The masters would give them a time limit for regeneration, hours, or minutes even, depending on the Master.

Unfortunately, Pearl had had one of those masters, and she remebered it well.

* * *

 

_Flashback_

_"Pearl, try to be more careful." Said a cream gem that stood beside her. She was holding a glass tray with various weapons on it. She had a perfect cream pearl in her face, surrounded by a brass ring. She was wearing a cream pink skirt that reached her knees, and a dark cream leotard. Her royal cream hair was spiky with two tufts next to her face.._

_"So... sorry White Pearl." She said in a shaky voice as she picked up the valuable items that she had thrown._

_They were several relics that they're master had gotten. Carefully, she tried to clean them up, not wanting to leave any evidence of her carelessness._

_Pearl had a youthful appearance. She wore a white leotard, and a very light grey skirt. Her hair spiked forward and upward. The gem on her forehead was also surrounded by a bronze ring._

_"Don't apologize." Another pearl appeared with cleaning supplies. "Just follow the orders or you'll get in trouble."_

_Black Pearl's outfit was identical to that of White Pearl, but in dark gray tones. Her black hair was completely dishevelled, her perfectly round mystic black pearl also surrounded by a brass ring._

_"Don't be so cold, Black." Cream Pearl replied softly as she rested her hand on the right shoulder of her partner._

_"Yeah, sorry about that." Black Pearl growled. "But I hate this place."_

_"We have no choice, we're servents." Pearl muttered, biwing her head._

_"We'll get out of here someday, we'll be free. I know it. " Black Pearl spoke with conviction._

_"We'll leave this place together. I promise." Cream Pearl indicated with a smile._

_Black Pearl smiled back, and Pearl smiled warmly at the pair of them. Her family._

_The moment was broken when they heard several steps behind them. The three quickly returned to duty. Black Pearl began cleaning, White Pearl practically ran to the room of weapons, and Pearl tried to accommodated the relics._

_Their Master appeared._

_It was White Diamond. She was enormous. Her skin was white, and her outfit reminded of human military attire. She wore light blue pants that ended in boots, and a jacket decorated with a her diamond symbol at the junction of the neck with a "V". She had spiky white hair._

_She completely ignored Black Pearl, who had practically moved to a different room, trying to clean as quickly as possible. White Diamons was positioned behind Pearl to supervise the accomadation of her cherished relics._

_Unfortuantely for Pearl, her nervousness and anxiety invaded, and she ended up dropping a relic, which shattered into several pieces._

_Pearl moaned as she was pushed aggresively into another room, and the door was sealed._

_When she finished her regeneration, Pearl learned from her friends that their master would to try to sell her. In fact, she had already found a potential buyer called "Rose Quartz"._

_That was strange, usually White Diamond sent to break defective gems, probably it she in one of his rare moments of piety._

_Despite the pain that lingered in her physical body and the sound of her own screams ringing in her "eardrums", a ray of hope illuminated her heart. Maybe she could be free._

_End Flashback_

* * *

 

 **P** earl opened her eyes and let a river of warm tears run down her pail face. She was lucky that Rose didn't care about the defects, and that she was the most benevolent gem in the galaxy.

She could have been destroyed. She could have had another master like White Diamond, or worse. But, that day, she won a friend and a family.

Occasionally, she wondered what had happened to her friends.

Had they been destroyed by their free thinking? Had they been reprogrammed by Homeworld to be real robots? Did they have a grudge against her for the opportunity to be free?

She knew it would be almost impossible to answer these questions. She didn't even know if they were still alive, and she couldn't find out. It would be suicide to go back to homeworld.

She ran a hand over her cheek, wiping away a single tear.

She hated to be alone. It only made her wonder.

Regarding the problem with Garnet, she digured she would never truely mens that relationship. There would always be a scar, and a flash of doubt because of her actions.

She wasn't perfect and ahe certainly wasn't a robot, but she felt like sometimes, the rest of the team forgot it, with their comments and actions.

Sometimes, she wished she was a robot. She wished to be like any other Pearl, and not feel anything or hurt anyone.

She had been given many opportunities to live free, and she wasn't going to waste them.

She stood quietly, breathing slowly, trying to calm her agitated emotions. She would save them for a while.

She decided to be plastic. To resist her mind and her heart, making her face like a calm amd smiling doll.

Maybe she wasn't a robot, but she could try to be one for Steven.

At the end of the day she must proyltect him physically, and emotionally, as well in her mind. She would always be living in that dollhouse.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, a beautiful title, isn't it?
> 
> Hope you liked it, Cream Pearl and Black Pearl are two of my gemsonas along with another one that is a Heliotrope/Bloodstone.
> 
> I accept constructive criticisms and comments, if you find any mistake tell me please.


End file.
